Speak. Don’t STRIKE!

And Moses and Aaron gathered the assembly together before the rock; and he said to them, “Hear now, you rebels! Must we bring water for you out of this rock?” Then Moses lifted his hands and struck the rock twice with his rod; and the water came out abundantly, and the congregation and their animals drank.” (Numbers 20:11 NKJV)

Moses was FED UP !!! Livid, mad, or as my mom would say “HOT as fish grease.” The Israelites were getting on his VERY LAST NERVE after complaining again that they had no water again as they were still embarking to reach the promised land. Moses goes to God for help. God tells Moses to take the rod, speak to the rock so water can pour out and the Israelites and animals can drink. Okay. Sounds like a good plan, right? Still in his anger and rage, Moses goes out to the people, and this where we pick back up having him calling the Israelites “rebels”, striking the rock twice, and the water abundantly pouring out for the people and animals to drink. God said for him to speak to the rock, not strike. So who’s the rebel now?

Anger is one of those emotions I have a very difficult time mastering. Keep making a few pointed, snide, or sarcastic remarks at me and I’ll not doubt come back at you verbally with shots firing. Christian or not, I WILL NOT MISS. When I read this scripture, I reflected back on the many times I struck with my actions or words in certain situations instead of speaking, listening, and obeying God.

Being angry isn’t a sin. It’s how I respond in my anger that can make it a sin. Christmas Eve 2001, I was playing video games almost completing it. I’m in the zone, focused, and it’s getting intense. My parents where in the kitchen cooking. My hyperactive four year old brother at the time kept jumping and wanting to mess with me. I was not in the mood. My dad told me earlier day that if my brother ever jumps on me again, I was to sit my brother down on the couch, tell him to stop, and go back to my dad so he can deal with him. Here comes my brother jumping on me for the LAST time as I’m playing the final stage of the game and I went POSTAL! As he jumped on me, I dropped my video game controller, hit him on the side of the stomach, threw him off me as he flew from the couch to the ground, and I cursed at him. Speak, DON’T STRIKE.

I quickly accomplished the goal of getting my brother off of me but I completely forgot the hefty price to pay called the consequences. I lost my game and had to start from the beginning. My brother was screaming on the floor because he was moderately hurt. My dad heard me curse at my brother and because he heard it, I was not allowed to open any of my gifts for Christmas until after breakfast while my sister and brother get to open theirs before. I was mortified. At 13, that was the end of the world for me around Christmas time. If only I would’ve spoken to my brother instead of striking him.

Moses had a price to pay after striking the rock too. God saw his disobedience and told him that he was not going to be the one to take the Israelites to the promised land (Numbers 20:12). After all that work, all that leading, all that prior obedience, his destiny was forfeited because of pride, lack of faith and self control that one time. Now the awesome thing about God is that He is faithful, gracious, merciful and did fulfill His promise. The Israelites did get to go the promised land. Just without Moses.

Moses did the BEST thing ever by going to God and asking what do about the Israelites. The one thing he needed to do was to follow God’s instruction even if His way doesn’t make sense or it seems like the lame way to go. God cares for us so much and He will NEVER steer us wrong even in the most difficult situations. He knows better than us and may know something that we don’t know (Isaiah 55:8-9). Again, its okay to be angry. God understands completely but just don’t sin (Ephesians 4:26).

So the next time my family member tests my patience, my roommate becomes a little too overbearing, or I want to deck my co-workers in the face and curse them out like I did my little brother, my first step is SPEAK to God and follow His directions on how to handle it. My second is to NOT STRIKE! I must tame my actions and put a lock on my semi-automatic mouth when I find myself in the heat of my rage. I know that I won’t get it right 100% of the time (usually I don’t). However, I do know that I will be extra mindful to stay on the path that God has for me so I won’t make the mistake of forfeiting my awesome divine destiny all because I made foolish decision out of pride, lack of faith, and self control. Speak. DO NOT STRIKE!

















Push To Start

“For we walk by faith, not by sight” (II Corinthians 5:7 NKJV)

Here we go. Every key I’m pressing is me taking a step of faith hoping that my story will reach one, maybe a few, a couple hundred, thousands, or maybe few hundred thousand of women about how Christ has changed my life. I got this idea of starting a blog while driving to work while praying at 3:52 am on a Tuesday. I knew that there was way more to me than what I was doing daily. I wanted to be a blessing somehow and someway to others. God has always done awesome and amazing things for me since inviting Him into my life back in September 2011. From ending a 7 year toxic relationship, delivering me from a dangerous relationship, finding my self-worth in Him, and sharing more of His love and less of myself. I can say He has definitely brought me over and through some messy situations. My stories may not be traumatic or majorly heartbreaking but I am (like all of you) a fallen and broken person who sought after God’s grace and forgiveness and striving to walk the narrow path that He has placed me on while being open and transparent about the heartbreak, struggles, joys, and triumphs of being a Christian woman.

I want to share my journey with you because I know that just because you’re in a church doesn’t mean that everyone will identify with the struggles you may be dealing with. I would know because I’ve felt it. Now, I may not be able to identify with every single struggle that’s out there known to man or woman because that’s way above my pay grade and to be honest, I couldn’t in the slightest take God’s job. However, I want you to know that girlfriend, you’re not alone. I have my fears and doubts just like you do. I get it. You’re nervous and doubtful about that new promotion you got because you don’t feel qualified. Walk by faith. PUSH TO START. Let me guess, your man who said he would love you, cherish you, marry you, and make you the mother of his kids ran off to be with a Jezebel and/or even your best friend and you’re back to being alone. God is with you and Christ is within you. PUSH TO START. You’re in the gym bathroom looking in the mirror disgusted and ashamed to do your first workout because of the stares and silent jokes people will make about you and your weight. You are ENOUGH!!! PUSH TO START!!! Uh oh, that test says positive girlfriend. He already left weeks ago and you know you have to raise this child on your own. God will supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus (Phil. 4:19). PUSH TO START.

With so much negativity, discouraging thoughts, and toxic people we encounter on a daily, it is truly no wonder we can’t walk in our true purpose and calling. God has given us everything we need to press on. As my dad would say (and I’m saying it in his voice too), “Ladies, I charge you! PUSH TO START no matter where you find yourself or what you’re going through.” Quick history lesson: Before Joshua took over the promised land that God would give to him and his people, God gave a special charge over Joshua. It’s one of the most EPIC and AWESOME verses in the bible and always gets me electrified. “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor dismayed, for the LORD your God IS with you wherever you go.” (Joshua 1:9 NKJV) I have no idea who this may reach but I will be strong and courageous. Even if people see or don’t see this, I will walk by faith, share God’s word, and PUSH TO START.


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