Rip and Restoration

“You sure have your dad’s outgoing and extrovert personality. Talk about being cut from the same cloth.” These were the expressions I would hear from friends and family when I’m around my dad. Sure, I may be cut from the same cloth but I remember years ago being ripped apart from that same cloth years ago. Growing up, my dad and I had a tumultuous relationship. Our family dynamic was filled with a lot of hurtful words and anger that cause the very fabric of the Nolan family to be ripped apart even now.

March 17, 2010 I was FED UP! It had been a week since I’ve moved out after living with only my dad for 3 month while in the final stages of my parents’ divorce. I had an issue with my car and called my dad for some important documents. After 10 minutes of insults hurled and angry words, I quickly recalled all the lifetime of hurtful words and actions. I vowed to myself, “This is would be the LAST time I would EVER hear insults like this from him again. I AM DONE with him FOR GOOD!” While in the middle of his rant, I hung up the phone. “Click” and “Riiiippp!!!” That’s when our relationship tore with no way to be restored.

Hurt, resentment, and anger followed me and became my comfort. I ripped my dad out of my life completely. Being so bitter and hurt, I even vowed that when I get married, I didn’t want him to walk me down the isle let alone even attend my wedding because he doesn’t deserve that right. My relationship with Christ was non-existent simply because I was too angry inside to have one. Fall of 2012, I had joined a bible study, surrendered my life to Christ and went back to church for the first time in 3 years. It would also be the first time I would see my dad in 2 years. What was an emotional yet awkward reunion, was the start of God patching up, sewing, mending, and restoring the ripped relationship between a father and his daughter.

As my relationship with my Heavenly Father grew, so did the relationship with my dad. Father’s Day June 15, 2014 was when REAL emotional and spiritual healing began. We prayed, cried, talked, and resolved our hurt feelings and anger towards each other over lunch that Sunday afternoon. The Holy Spirit was DEFINITLEY among us as I watched over time in amazement how we serve a God that makes ALL THINGS NEW and BETTER THAN EVER.

I know that the rips, tears, and damages from the past is done. Some things will never be the same but restoration takes time. By no means is our relationship perfect, but I see how God made it so fit that there is MUCH less anger, more love, less hurtful words, more charging and encouragement in The Lord, less demeaning actions, more respect. Less of ourselves, MORE OF CHRIST.

I’m at a pivotal season in life where I’ll need my Heavenly Father and my earthly father more than ever. In a few months, I’ll be entering into marriage. Both cover me with protection, provision, prayers, and blessing as I’ll be given away. Yes, I’m excited to say this means that my dad will be walking me down the isle. I can’t help but think about what a mighty God we serve that He should be our tailor and take the ripped and shredded cloth of discord and resentment and make a beautiful tapestry of what blessed and restoring father-daughter relationship.

 

 

 

 

 

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